Community Concepts (Sept 2022)

Community Concepts (Sept 2022)

09/06/2022

Dojo Philosophy for Everyday Life

I’m a father of two high school boys. When my kids were little, I received a lot of parenting advice about how to encourage my children’s strengths but not so much about challenging their weaknesses. After my kids were born, though, a lot of research emerged showing that the earlier a child has to struggle some, the better. I’m not talking about traumatic struggles, like not having enough to eat or losing a parent. I’m talking about the struggle of daily tasks that a child may fail on the first, second, third, or even fifteenth try.

I watch this dynamic play out with new students at Unity Martial Arts. Gifted children sail through school with little effort and think martial arts will be the same. When they’re asked to push themselves and give 100 percent, they often panic and seek out a lesser challenge. Being compared to yourself instead of the other students in class doesn’t leave any room to hide.

I also watched kids who have little natural ability in martial arts (or piano, reading, math, or soccer) develop amazing skills over time when their parents do a few important things:

  1. Balance a child’s activities. Select some the child naturally excels at and some they don’t.
  2. Don’t comment on a child’s natural abilities. Instead, let them know you saw how hard they worked or what problems they solved.
  3. Look at failures with commitment instead of alarm! Failure is fertile ground for planting the seeds of determination. The pursuits that lead to meaningful growth are always the ones in which we pushed through the desire to run to something easier and persevered.
5 D’s of a Winner
1) Direction 2) Discipline 3) Determination 4) Dedication 5) Do Till Death

Cuong Nhu’s 5 Ds are taught at Yellow Belt and teach students that once you have goals (or Direction), you will use Discipline to stay on the path towards those goals. When you reach plateaus or obstacles, you’ll need Determination to break through (often the determination of parents as well). As you reach higher levels you’ll need to Dedicate more time and resources to progress. With well chosen goals, the timeline can be our whole life, as the pursuit of those goals becomes the goal itself. Do Till Death isn’t about overdoing it but about making the pursuit of your goals carry on for all of your life, and choosing goals that build your health, community, and happiness in the long term.

Make sure your kids are challenged while they have you to guide and protect them. Something is going to teach them about getting knocked down. Make sure that you, and the coaches and instructors you put your child in the hands of are teaching them about getting back up.

If you’d like to see the community and classes at Unity, you can schedule a free introduction on our website. You’re also welcome to come to our Fall Festival on October 1!