Community Concepts (Nov 2020)
11/05/2020
Dojo Philosophy for Everyday Life (Five Wins of a Winner)
How do we win well? As I write this, we’re facing a contentious election. By the time you read it, it will have already passed. It’s easy to get so caught up in the desire to win a single contest that we lose sight of what real success requires. We have a philosophy in Cuong Nhu that addresses the deeper nature of long term success.
The Five Wins of a Winner
- Over yourself
- Opponent’s respect
- Third party’s respect
- Over the situation
- People’s hearts
Victory pursued blindly can destroy the winner and their goals instead of building and strengthening them. In our obsession with winning, we often forget that the conclusion of a contest isn’t the end and isn’t only about us. A contest is a single data point in a vast, moving field of social measurement. The Five Wins of a Winner help us acknowledge the longer game.
Over Yourself – No victory can make our personal failings go away. The internal demons and doubts will take the night off after a victory and be waiting for us in the morning. Building self-respect is always the first step towards creating something positive that lasts.
Opponent’s respect – We have to remember that the people who compete with us are our peers and part of our community. To move forward they need to believe that the victory is deserved. If our successes are achieved with disrespect and manipulation, how can we believe that the contest will ever end?
Third party’s respect – Even the onlooker who may be impressed by an underhanded victory will be just as happy to see us fall when the next underhanded competitor comes along. Earning a person’s respect outlasts both victory and defeat.
Over the situation – Winning isn’t simple. We must be aware of all the factors at play. A short term gain can be a long term loss because the bigger picture was overlooked. The choice that considers the longest period of time and the largest number of people is the one that plants the real seeds of success.
People’s hearts – In the end, nothing we do that isolates us will feed our true hunger for success. Our contentment is lasting only when we see our works benefit the people around us. Our true victory is realized when we give security, peace, and success to others, whether we receive credit or not.