Community Concepts (July 2022)

07/06/2022

Dojo Philosophy for Everyday Life

Daily I hear about people so out of touch with themselves that they twist their own lives out of balance and then, in their frustration, make life harder on everyone around them. Some are dictators who sow conquest and reap atrocity. Some are people who make the news for letting their anger or sadness turn into violence or scandal. Most are people who won’t face their disappointments or responsibilities and become a person who sprinkles anger and negativity into the world wherever they go.

We know we’re supposed to love ourselves and each other, but when it seems impossible, the virtue of using a philosophy is that we can break a giant leap down into steps and a process. We may also notice a particular step that we keep tripping on so that we can have a more direct focus when trying to improve.

Self Acceptance is a critical starting point, but it is important that our acceptance is an affirmation. Saying “I accept that I can’t follow through on journaling” after a few failed attempts doesn’t do us any good. Instead we observe our strengths and weaknesses and accept the challenge of using those tools to meet our goals. “In order to succeed at journaling, I need to tap into my love of charts and also involve a friend to hold me accountable.”

Self Confidence and Self Esteem are both goals and processes. Confidence requires many attempts with increasing success to build. We need to be realistic (acceptance) about where our confidence level is at this moment, and then push to grow it by building the level of challenge past what we could previously do. The more we see growth in ourselves past our previous limits, the more confidence and self esteem we build.

Self Control is the main tool both for building, and for not losing, self confidence and self esteem. Even when we’re very proud of our accomplishments, our doubts, fears, and frustrations can tear us back down if we don’t use self control. How many times do we start to succeed and then give ourselves some slack because of all that hard work and fall right out of practice? Self control means staying focused on the long goals and allowing that progress to keep building and building.

Selflessness is the ultimate goal of this process and comes from a full understanding of ourselves, enough confidence and esteem that we aren’t controlled by the perceptions of others, and the control to reach our goals. The happiness that comes from this accomplishment only finds its true purpose when it is used to inspire and lift up others, because the mastery of the self is only necessary so that we can finally set the self aside.