01/06/2022
Last year in January my article about resolutions appeared here as I was in the hospital, fighting to stay off a ventilator and return to my family. My article highlighted that efforts of self improvement are easier to stick to when they are for the people around you more than for yourself. Little did I know that the next year of my life would embody that very idea. This year I’d like to share this message again with a newfound perspective.
Cuong Nhu’s first code of ethics – Cuong Nhu Students should strive to improve themselves and their abilities in the martial arts in order to serve the people.
What does it take to make you strive? Striving is not just hard work, or the daily application of your labor. The definition of the word intones a vigorous struggle. In class we point to the sweat dripping from the nose, and the muscles shaking with effort to the edge of failure. Striving is the certain path to improvement. It is the pain that comes with transformation, but it is pain, and most shrink from it. What motivates you to see past the trial to the growth beyond it? This year my motivation came from being laid low and realizing that it was going to take months of striving just to return to my former health. Seeing the fear in my family and my community at my near death and the weakness that followed has been my drive: To get back to them.
Facing challenges with others will increase followthrough. Last year I suggested that getting your friends and family on board with the changes you want to make is crucial to success since they create the atmosphere in which you make your choices. While it was easy to get people in my life to encourage my recovery, changing the way my family eats and adding time to my exercise schedule took cooperation beyond affirmation. It required friends and family members changing routines because they wanted to see me transform as well. Because they adapted to allow me to work, it was easier to convince myself hour by hour to strive.
When you share a goal with others you’re more likely to show up even when it’s hard. Getting members of my community to take on some of my goals with me meant that I could show up for them and they could show up for me. Even if our goals in working out were different, the struggle to make time and show up is the same. Knowing you’re expected is one of the most powerful motivators to show up. Knowing your people are working hard by your side will give you power to push yourself beyond your own perceived strength.
In order to serve the people. Identify the deeper goal of your desire to change. If you want to be in better shape, don’t focus on the shallow reasons, because they’ll be easiest to discard when it gets tough. Find the deeper motivation that puts striving in context and share it with those around you. Better yet, connect your growth to your ability to give to your community. You could make a goal to call one member of your community each day to check in and catch up. You could make a goal to bake five loaves each weekend and deliver them to five people that need a boost. When your goals lift up those around you, they’ll energize instead of exhaust you. They’ll keep you centered on your community, the true wealth of your life.