Community Concepts (August 2021)

Community Concepts (August 2021)

08/06/2021

Dojo Philosophy for Everyday Life

As we push to return kids to school and the world to some degree of normalcy, many parents are asking how to get their kids back on track. Their routines (especially physical and social) are broken. They seem more hesitant, and suddenly everything seems too hard or frightening for them. They’ve just been through an insane year, and while we want to give them room to recover and rebuild, we also know how easy it is for them to lose ground. Things like fitness, friendships, and education need constant forward pressure to build, and taking time off leaves twice as much to recover.

One of the first Cuong Nhu philosophies we learn is:

The 5 Firsts of Friendship

1) Communicate 2) Smile 3) Care 4) Share 5) Forgive

At first glance this seems to be a decent list of ways to make and keep friends, but it is actually a far more relevant and powerful tool than that. The key word is “Firsts”. This list is about things that you don’t wait for others to do. You take the initiative and go first. Each one takes more courage than the last but it starts small with manageable risks. This makes it a great tool to help get the kids back on track.

In a world where everyone is even more hesitant than before to be the first one to speak in a group of new people, work on the courage to introduce yourself and be seen. Since it is far easier to go second, your courage in communicating will certainly inspire others, and soon the whole group will be talking. When people are uncertain about where others in the room stand, be the first to smile and let them know you are an ally. When people are so much in their own heads that they talk and talk without ever hearing what others say, listen to them and be curious as you show that you care about what they’ve experienced. When you have more than you need, look for others that may benefit from your sharing without worrying about what you might get back. When others’ actions don’t make sense, have the courage to forgive and accept them before they do, despite the fact that everything didn’t go your way.

When we test our courage in ever growing ways we begin to trust in ourselves, and in our growing adventures. We see that being first makes things happen that would never have happened without that courage, and this growing knowledge builds deep confidence. What we want for all our students is that they see that they are capable of growing towards their goals with hard work, and that challenging themselves opens up new experiences in their lives. The fears of failure and imperfection that plague so many of us begin to fade when we see that even though we don’t succeed at every challenge, the lifestyle of constant challenge makes us into a person that we are proud to be.